Happy New Year everyone!
Yeah, I know I’m a few days late. Ten days late to be exact.
But think about this…
it is still a new year…
technically so until it becomes an old year…
which won’t happen until midnight on December 31st.
So, you see…I’m not late after all.
And, yes, I have an uncanny ability to spin anything in my favor.
A greatly sought after talent to some.
To me, it is a gift I only use when absolutely necessary…
and this would be one of those times.
It appears these other bloggers were able to carve out the time during the holiday madness to create a plan of attack for their new year. Either that or they are geniuses and totally “with it” people.
I, on the other hand, didn’t give it much thought until New Year’s Day.
Which is actually a lie.
I thought about it prior to January 1. I just struggled to make any hard and fast decisions as to what I hope to accomplish this year.
Since then, I have gone round and round over my approach to twenty fourteen. I had a general idea of what I wanted my non-resolutions (because the word “resolution” is SO passe) to be but I felt my general ideas were too “general”.
I did what I tend to do and over thought the whole thing.
And in the end, I did what I tend to do (do you see a theme here?) and decided to go with my initial “general” plan.
I’ve said it time and time again.
I confuse myself.
To fully understand my dilemma (if it is even possible to do so), I should share the back story.
In the past, I have been more of a “theme for the year” kind of person. It all started in 2009 when I gave up the “lose 15 pounds and rock a bikini body” goal that had been on my list since…oh…1977???
Even as a 12-year-old I hated being a curvy girl rather than a model-thin bikini rocker. Don’t we always want what we don’t have?
And so it goes when you are female. We are SO freaking hard on ourselves.
Anyway, in 2009, I decided I had had enough of self criticism. As the first days of 2009 rolled in, I knew I wanted to do something different…to shift my focus. Thus the Year of Learning To Love Myself was born.
It was also the year I started blogging. My baby girl had left for college in the fall of 2008 an my then-fiance lived 3 hours away in Atlanta. I had time on my hands, people. For the first time in my life, I was alone in a big ol’ house with no one but the dog to keep me company. An empty nest brings great changes along with fears and questions.
What better time for self reflection?
What better time to find myself?
Posts such as Learning to Love Myself and The Pros and Cons of Solitude document a bit of my journey toward self-acceptance. It wasn’t an easy year. Insecurities reared their ugly head as my what-I-thought-was-my-happily-ever-after relationship unraveled.
I started the year engaged.
I ended it single.
If ever you want a good lesson in self appreciation, go through a heart break of a break up while learning to navigate a life devoid of motherly responsibilities.
In spite of it all, I labelled the project a huge success.
So much so I proclaimed 2010 The Year of Adventure. I made plans to learn to ski (which never happened), to learn to swim correctly (which I attempted but never mastered), to run a 5k (which I did the day after a chemo treatment…in a walk/run kinda way) and to attempt a sprint triathlon (another thing that never happened).
I also had other small adventures on my list such as facing a fear. My fear of heights got a kick in the pants when I went zip lining. Gliding through the trees and rain clouds as I dangled WAY above the ground was exhilarating.
But I’m still afraid of heights.
In writing this, I realize I could easily label 2010 “The Year I Got An ‘A’ For Effort”.
Looking back, I find it hilarious (in a not-so-funny way) that Life took my themes in 2009 and 2010 and gave me what I asked for.
Only not in the way I had hoped.
Learning to love myself came through the loss of love from someone else.
And wouldn’t ya know, my year of adventure was the year cancer came calling…an adventure in its own right but not one I care to repeat.
Cancer and the fighting there of controlled the themes for the next few years.
Two thousand eleven was all about Fighting the Fight.
Twenty twelve was The Year of Recovery.
And 2013 became the Year of Redefining Normal.
I had little say in what these years encompassed. Cancer was the Queen Bee and in the driver’s seat of my life.
I was just along for the ride.
But all that is behind me now. For the first time in several years, I am facing a new year with no guiding force propelling me to proclaim it anything other than a fresh start.
What an incredible opportunity, don’t ya think?
And THAT is exactly why I gave so much thought to my goals.
I wanted to get it right.
So I fretted. (Not really. I just wrote that for dramatic effect.) I made lists. I contemplated. And I finally decided this year is going to be a year of possibilities. A year of reclaiming my life.
So many things have come to mind and they all work together for the greater good of all things “me”. I plan to get back to the basics in every area of my life. My faith, diet, exercise, rest, work, hobbies, relationships…all will be approached in a simple, yet effective manner.
“Simple” being the operative word.
I’m the type who can complicate a drink of water by over analyzing and researching the subject to death. While this over-the-top approach may serve me well in some ways, it results in time wasted more often than not.
This year I want to focus on simply doing.
I have many goals…all which make up the “doing, “being”, “living” that I just mentioned.
And I have every intention of working toward all of them.
But I won’t over analyze or over think.
Oh…who am I kidding?
I’m sure I will spend too much time thinking about everything.
Let’s just say, I am going to enjoy this life that I have.
Plain and simple.
Now do you see why this was a bugger of a post to write?
I went half way round the world and back again to say I just want to be happy.
Anyone else have trouble defining your goals?
Make me feel better.
If you made it all the way to the very end of this post, I thank you. And I think we should be friends. Look me up on Facebook. I promise my posts there are more concise and to the point…
most of the time.